Off-The-Wall Extremes
The other day I stood in the 105 degree heat and tried to ignore the sun baking the top of my head as I took pictures for my other blog, The Fork. That was sane, what wasn’t sane was eating everything I could get my hands on after-wards. Heatstroke, maybe?
I was one day short of 30 in sticking to a new way of eating (not called a diet, thank you). I had not cheated by going over my allotted calories the entire time. Then, yesterday, I knew that if I didn’t do something off-the wall, I’d stop caring about eating right altogether. That’s a pattern in my life. It’s called extremes. Most alcoholics identify with the Billy Joel’s, I Go to Extremes.
Many alcoholics are enthusiasts. They run to extremes. ~Alcoholics Anonymous 2011 p 125
So I took a vacation from the new eating regime. I went to the extreme. I ate everything in sight and since the RV had nothing unhealthy in it, I even went to town and got some snacks. A neighbor also happened to go to town and bought me a Butterfinger Blizzard, so I happily ate it with my Hershey’s chocolate almond bar!
Darling I don’t know why I go to extremes
Too high or too low there ain’t no in-betweens
And if I stand or I fall
It’s all or nothing at all
Darling I don’t know why I go to extremes
I guess it wasn’t a bad idea, but a good idea, deciding to take an off-the-wall day! The following day I felt great about eating right again. I fell off the food plan but not the drinking plan. I didn’t even think about booze, which I just realized.
I’m learning in recovery to do the NRT (next right thing) may, at times, mean doing an off-the-wall thing so boredom doesn’t lead to complacency. I like bending the rules in the rest of my life a little bit if it keeps me from doing any real damage to the sober life I’ve come to enjoy. Freedom from alcohol is such a blessing. I don’t want to do anything to risk my sobriety.
I easily identified with Joel’s lyrics and his music was important to me in my 30s, but what I’m learning in the program of AA, I couldn’t learn by listening to Billy Joel.
What I’m learning is a common side-effect of doing the work of the Twelve Step program. Joel says it best. I’m learning why I went to extremes, no longer going too high or too low–I’m learning how to find the in-betweens. For that, I’m grateful.
Chris–Not hard to imagine, that’s for sure. Sometimes I think I should be looking at eating as addictive behavior. But I haven’t fallen off the wagon again, so maybe not.
I am taking the lighter side of things. i laughed when I pictured you double fisting the goodies. Too funny!
PlanetSobriety–Thank you so much for checking out the blog. Happy to have you here. There’s no end to what we can blame on the ‘change’! Thank you for commenting. I sometimes think I might have a cross-addiction to food, but I’m finding it pretty easy to stay on the new eating plan, with that one crazy exception after being in the sun for so long! How can one know? So much emphasis is placed on food in our society! I agree about applying the Steps to all aspects of my life, in fact it’s one reason I started to work on the eating plan. Again, thanks for the comment and for dropping by. Come back!
scotty–I think I have a long way to go in finding the solid ‘in-betweens’ but I’ve come a long way, too. I would love to be balanced in all areas of life. I just had a crazy desire to eat that day and I didn’t care if it was in my plan or not! There are areas of my life that are safe to be off-the-wall and those that aren’t. As long as I only veer off once a month or so, I’m not too worried about the eating thing. I hope you are encouraged. Thank you for commenting.
Hey Heidi, thanks so much for reaching out – I absolutely love your blog! Being a multi-addicted myself, food used to be just another drug for me…and I knew what to eat to change my physiology. I’m now using the 12-steps in every area of my life…and when I go to extremes…well, I blame it on going thru the changes!!
Yes! I go to extremes, and I do it impulsively. I never thought of it as a tool for self-improvement, but this motivates me to do so.
Marc–I am glad you provided the clarification for ‘Off-the-wall’ behavior. I don’t think I’d ever make it back to the program if I ever picked up a drink. My wild behavior has to be outside my addiction. I’m still struggling to live the life of ‘in-between’ behavior. Balance has never been my forte. I totally agree with you. Thanks for the comment.
I believe in moderation, except when it comes to mood altering substances. My life before recovery was always on the edge and it progressively lead to disasters. “Off-the-wall-days” regarding anything I am addicted to is too dangerous for me. NRT’s, for me, have to be on safe middle ground.
The men in our program that are “getting it” use the NRT a lot. It’s good for all of us to use.