Step 3: Examine Inconsistencies
It was Spring. We were on a photo shoot, driving along a wondrous coastal road between the woods on our left and the Pacific on our right when these beautiful words fairly begged to be captured.
Later, we learned that the young woman who had painted this hidden stretch of black top was just escaping an abusive relationship. While still in tears, she had grabbed a girlfriend, some paint and headed to the coastal back roads. How inconsistent! Sometimes inconsistencies are a good sign. Her art was the tribute to a new way of thinking. She was beaten down, but had not given up.
Before AA, I had all but given up. Since working the steps, I make a concerted effort to be honest with myself. Here’s the confession: When I’m doing well, it’s not really me doing it. It’s the power within. This is an inconsistency that’s worth noting—a welcome change from life before the Steps of AA.
Simple Equation: Me – God = Self-centered Deception
Sometimes inconsistencies are warning signs:
- If I say my problems are the result of how I was raised and not of my own making, the truth is not in me.
- If I say I am working the program and I ignore the work of steps 3 through 12, the truth is not in me.
- If I say I don’t play God, yet I tell others what to do with their lives, the truth is not in me.
- If I say I was sane before I got to AA, the truth is not in me.
The truth is in me, if I live in a way that is consistent with the AA program and I practice the presence of God. When I do that, I am peaceful and in harmony with others. When I let my own selfish will take control, chaos reigns—it’s my nature. It’s what’s in me when God is absent.
~
Examine Inconsistencies
smiles
on an abuser’s face
bare feet on a beach
in the snow
road art
from the hand of a survivor
~
PS: How do you spot inconsistencies?
Jen– Thank you for scratching the itch. I just couldn’t make a connection. You’re never butting in, by the way. Love to have your contributions. I’m so fascinated by the stories you’re putting up.
Hey, here’s one from Jen:http://step-on-a-crack.com/2011/10/06/a-gift-of-perspective-and-grace/
Jen– We’re just fine… better, in fact. Sassy and whoopin’ it up here in the Southern part of Texas. For anyone who really wants to know, we’re not far from Cuero. My mom called me from Minnesota to check on me, too. I haven’t found the news. I think the wind and rain took out the satellite again. TV ranks way down on my priority list. Later.
Hey Me here butting in… Al posted once about an old timer who referred to his HP as
Bus # 59 The bus that got him to his home meeting. It really brought home the truth in
God as we have come to understand God
Bus# 59 opens the door to let HP in period in any way in any form…
It was a touching post and a very relevant one for folks who are in the program but can’t get down with HP.
OK I am done butting in… for now.
XO
WOW I love the new look!
and i just saw a headline twister tears through Texas
I am a worry wart… you guys OK???
XO Jen
Dear Heidi
Oh man. LOTS of juice in this one! I am back in meetings, ACA, and have found writing honestly about my childhood and my addictions to be a trigger: I do not want to go back to blaming my childhood and wallow. That just gets me stuck.
In ACA the Serenity prayer is changed a bit (I hate change but go with it) “…accept the people I cannot change” “Change the only person I can Me.”
Inconsistencies are a tricky bunch of challenges.
THank you for once again, shining a light on the steps; for taking our step work deeper.
You are a Gift and a Blessing.
XO Jen
If i’m saying life is out to get me, when it’s me not trying to get life, the truth is not in me.
The tone and the patterns…. very important. It goes back to watching what people do after they speak, too. Thanks for saying so.
Examine Inconsistencies
smiles
on an abuser’s face
bare feet on a beach
in the snow
road art
from the hand of a survivor
That’s really beautiful, Heidi! As with your poem, some inconsistencies, like the road art, are beautiful. But some, like the smile, are dangerous.
How do I spot them?
I’m not proficient at it.
I watch a lot and listen a lot – to the tone, not just the rhetoric.
You’ve taught me so much about the importance of walking the walk.
Thank you!
Debbie
Cyndi–Good for you! It is just like Spring cleaning. So much work and so much to gain! I’ll be praying for you. Thank you for sharing your challenges with us. Say hi to the Nar-anon group for me Sunday, OK?
Debby– It’s one of my favorite photos…so much meant by those lines. The truth is in me when I’m allowing it, only then. Thanks for the compliment. This was one of those posts that kept growing and I had to prune it. More later, I’m sure.
Louise– Thank you for giving your programs the nod. I like your enthusiasm. You’re right about the building responsibility we have and I’m grateful that grace comes with each new ‘pouring’ that challenges us. Great to have you here as part of GoodLife.
I have found thru Nar-anon & Yoga practice stop , look , listen and breath, nothing needs a reaction at that moment.
Working Step 4 again, at this time in my recovery is going to be like opening a window and letting the spring air come in and air out the house.
Focusing on those inconsistencies and being able to recognize them will be huge!
Opening my heart and mind step1-3 everyday, it will come.
Heidi, this is my favorite but I have lots of favorites because your writing hits me where and when I need it. Because the Truth is in you. Thank you.
For me, the longer I’m in the program, the more gratitude I have for my recovery. I’m not sure I can put it into words, but as my relationship with my HP deepens, it’s as if there is more and more of my life that is my responsibility.
it’s like the foam on the top of a glass of soda. the deeper the soda, the higher the foam. My responsibility is the stuff at the bottom and HP is the foam. and over time, more and more soda is poured into the glass…but the foam gets higher and higher. Yet it sits on more soda.
I knew it wouldn’t make alot of sense but I guess i’m saying that over time, more and more of my life becomes my responsibility and there’s more and more of God to lead me to higher and higher places. on Day one of recovery, I could do nothing and relied on HP for everything. 30 years later (Al anon and OA) i don’t worry about getting to work – it’s part of my life and I do it. but God takes me to new places I couldn’t have imagined all those years ago.
This seems like a good time to ask. Bus # 59? Please enlighten me.
Love that!
We read More About Alcoholism last night as a group……”We are like men who have lost their legs” we are short! Ware not tall again unless we are borne on the shoulders of a power greater than us!
Hey HeidiHo, oh HOW i want to take credit for my “goodness”! Still, when there is something nasty going on, and i’m doing “OK”, there seems to be no explanation. “Doing well” isn’t on the menu for me. Panic, freaking, crying, confusion, THERE are things i can rely on
.
I will try to rely on my bus #59 when there’s good, bad and crap, ok? xo m