Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain
This morning, I said something that wasn’t right. I was wrong. It reminded me of this scene:
The Wizard (covering up with the curtain): The Great Oz has spoken. Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain….the…Great…er…Oz has spoken.
Dorothy (pulling aside the curtain and reprimanding): Who are you?
The Wizard: (stuttering) I, I, I am the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz.
Dorothy: You are! I don’t believe you.
The Wizard: I’m afraid it’s true. There’s no other Wizard except me.
Scarecrow: You humbug.
Tin Man: Yeah.
The Wizard: Yes. That’s exactly so. I’m a humbug.
The Wizard was a fake. Eventually he was forced to admit how he had faked his way to the top.
When I say something that comes out wrong, I often borrow that line, Pay no attention to that woman behind the curtain… I use it with friends when I catch myself straying from the truth. I also say it to me when I catch myself in self-deceit. It’s a very handy line. I’m no Wizard but I faked my way up for over half a century before I realized the Wizard and I had so much in common.
The Wizard had all the accoutrements of success: power, position, prestige… The Great Oz spoke and people believed him. There are so many parallels between the Great Oz and my former persona. How I presented myself barely projected any resemblance of who I really was.
My love of the stage started early. I had the leads in all the class plays, I volunteered to present to the class at every opportunity. I hated science but won the Science fair because of my delivery skills in junior high. Obviously, it was easy to be center stage and command the attention of an audience. Being self-employed as a trainer for 25 years was the natural result of honing those skills. But it was more, wasn’t it?
My life was always looking better from the outside than it felt on the inside. I used to think, My life would make a better movie than it does a life. It seemed exciting and I was great at playing roles, accomplishing my goals, keeping up the front and shooting smoke and fire…
There was no Dorothy to come along and pull the curtain on me. I got the job. Sometimes, with God’s help, we have to be our own curtain puller.
The truth, I discovered, was akin to the Scarecrow’s observation: I was a humbug (fake). I had no clue who I was by the time I quit drinking. It would be easy to blame the booze, but that’s just not accurate. The deception started much earlier. That’s why I’ve changed my subtitle. I think this is key.
Of those whom I deceived, I was the first in line.
Remember the spooky scene in the great hall where Dorothy is finally granted an audience with the Wizard?
“Come forward!” The Wizard booms. “I am Oz, the Great and Powerful. Who are you?“
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PS: Have you thought about it lately? How can we know?
Interesting metaphor, isn’t it? I’ve probably thought more about this post than before I wrote it. Now you’ve given me more to ponder. Thanks for your comment.
I think I had multiple curtains…..seems there is still a sheer one on occasion that tries to keep ME hidden. Great words Heidi.
God Bless you Heidi and I look forward to the future posts
Exactly what I’m saying. These guys are such amazing teachers and they have no idea what they teach me! You too, Heidi.
Susie– I love your comment! Control is such a big part of it that I nearly went down that trail with the whole post, then had to cut and make that one for the future. You are so right. Thank you for the thoughtful addition to the post here.
Oh we all have wizards, deceivers and curtains in our life – Oh My!
Sometimes it does feel like we are behind a curtain wildly pushing gadgets and trying to turn the wheels. Ultimately when we are alone in a tiny room (of our making) trying desperate to control everything and everyone and ending up like a sad little man lonely and never going anywhere – stuck in sadness.
All we have to do is reach over and pull open the curtain of Light – living in Truth – finally walking away from alone-ness – dark-ness and fear.
God Bless
susie
Debbie– Being real always appealed to me, but I obviously had not a whit of a chance as long as I was still denying reality and suffering from self-deceit. It’s just not ok to live so long behind the curtain. Maybe we could invent a curtain puller and market that for retirement?
Sherrie– I know you get it. Thanks for saying you like the post. I struggled to come up with some helpful questions for this post but in the end decided to use those elsewhere. I’m open to any suggestions though!
Caddo–Glad to glance over and see you in your usual chair! Thanks for coming by. Sending blessings right back at you, sis.
Cathy– Yes. It’s how we respond to the challenges, isn’t it? Reminds me of ‘What doesn’t kill you…’ I love the way Debbie addressed that!
As you say, a good grasp on reality and a willing heart to receive the truth are key ingredients. I’d add the ability to be honest with oneself and with others, but of course that was the topic of the post in the first place. That’s what I pray He keeps me from slipping back into. Thanks for the comment, Cath.
Debby– Thank you for clarifying that we don’t pull back the curtain by ourselves… I don’t believe I did it alone, but I think the post colors it that way. I’m going to edit that. Wow! I really would love to hear what your guys say when they share. Good comment. Thank you for the help. The great ‘deceiver’ lures us into self-defeating behavior and then works to keep us there. When that doesn’t work, he convinces us that our ‘recovery’ is our own work, and not the result of the grace of God. That’s what you’re saying, right?
I’m afraid I could give even the Great and Powerful Oz a run for his money when it comes to being a humbug. I spent 50 years behind the curtain.
Some days I still feel naked without it.
Thank you for helping me see, not just the rewards, but the rightness of realness.
Great post, Heidi!
Oh, yes I am first in my line too!!! Great post, you are a genius, no curtain required!
THIS IS SO GOOD, HEIDI!!! God bless you–love, sis Caddo
In thinking about it, just like the wizard I don’t think we know until we’re challenged.
The challenge may come in many forms. Parents, job, partners, friends and situations.
And even with that there needs to be a willingness to see reality and seek the truth.
Good question Heidi.
Actually, yes, I thought about it last week as I encountered the Wizard, more than one really. But you know about that. More on point with your post was one of our grads who stood up today to say the “deceiver” was trying to tell him he did this all on his own. He said he had chill bumps exposing it to us. I am so thankful he didn’t fall for the Wizards lie and he knows Who is Helping him in his recovery journey. There are no small victories in recovery.