Anxiety: Part 2 Hey There! Hold Down the Handle!
In Anxiety: Part 1 Pull on the Nail , we began the process for getting rid of preoccupations and worries. Several of the GoodLife circle are trying this out. It won’t resonate with everyone but it’s been a big help to me so I want to share it. The tips are useful once the written part of the first three points is finished. There’s a lot of ‘holding’ going on during the last three points.
In all times of emotional disturbance or indecision, we can pause, ask for quiet, and in the stillness simply say: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done.” Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, 2012, p 41
HOLD DOWN THE HANDLE
4. Pray the Serenity Prayer. I pray this more than once, slowly, thoughtfully. The reason I choose to do this is the same as why I look more than once to the right and left before I drive through an intersection. I have to compensate for my lack of concentration. My dad taught Driver’s Ed and he told me to look once for my daydreams and again to actually see the road. It works. (I prefer to use the whole Serenity Prayer.)
5. Do The Next Right Thing. This principle is a huge help for me. I only need to know the next right thing to do. I don’t need to know ‘what about after that’ anymore. It is amazing how often the situation resolves itself if I choose to do that next right thing. If I don’t feel any clear direction, I wait until I do. I’ve never missed a deadline yet!
6. Return to the Serenity Prayer. If it doesn’t resolve itself by this point, I return to praying the Serenity Prayer and pull out the written parts of Pull on the Nail to check my thinking again.
Sometimes the solution to the problem is to put it away and wait. I don’t do this until necessary. It’s still my preference to decide and act. But not acting ‘yet’ doesn’t make me feel powerless anymore. Just the opposite. I feel good about deciding to wait, which isn’t the same thing as not deciding. Inaction can be a good decision. It still lets us move into the now and stop the dirt devils of anxiety from bouncing around endlessly in our minds.
Two Minutes of Grace speaks to the topic of spending so much of our time in our heads:
And we warn each other of the perils of dwelling in the negative future: the land of what if, of dread and worry and fear. We make a concentrated effort to maintain sea walls against those aspects of the past and the future.
The goal is to have a method for dealing with these anxieties or preoccupations of our mind that pull us away from the possible joy of the present moment. Just trying to ignore them or distract myself with escapism isn’t an option any longer. I long for serenity and the experience of being in His will. Everything that keeps me from that needs to be flushed out!
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PS: I desire to find His will and these tips help me to do that. Let us know the results of your experiment with this method, or share what helps you when you’re experiencing anxiety over an issue.
PSS: This series and most of my posts presuppose a fairly stable mental condition, adequate counsel and regular doctor visits. Anxiety as a mental health disorder is another topic for another day…been there, too. Also, I’m not implying we should not expect to have troubles in this life. It’s how we face them that I’m concerned with.
Jim– School of Life. That sums it up! I still have so much to learn about. Learning never comes easy for me, but it keeps my mind from giving me so much trouble. Being in charge of where my mind goes is a new experience and a tremendous privilege. I am so grateful for the life I now have. Thank you for being here. I picture you entering the room upstairs with your cheerful face and it makes me smile.
THanks for sharing, It is wonderful to see your growth. I see people everyday that could use a program. A lady told us that her grand daugher said when she was leaving to go to a meeting,
“are you going to school?” and she said its her School of Life. I’ve always liked that anology as it teaches me how to cope.
Debbie– Thank you for saying that. I just hope I don’t sound preachy! I wrote these points down one day last week after going through a mild ‘episode’ that would have thrown me completely off balance just a short while ago. I reviewed what happened and realized it’s not hard to follow that method. I had sometimes used Part 1 and sometimes Part 2, but never had pushed them together over the same issue. I wanted to cement it for myself and share it with others by getting it into a post.
Pray. Do the NEXT right thing. Pray.
Perfect, Heidi. I’ve watched you do this over and over. It’s finally wearing off on me.
Thank you for not just preaching, but practicing what you preach and for making these steps so accessible.
Caddo- I learned the practicality of this from my trucking son. His driving application helped me see that what is logically to follow may be obvious–or not. All I need to do is have the ‘sticky’ on the dash with my obvious directions. In this instance of a worry that besets me, I’m often left with just one Next Right Thing on the sticky and I’ve become very comfortable and content in knowing that’s all I have to do!
Hi Heidi! Thank you so much for the valuable piece of the puzzle you supplied for me today: that I don’t need to fret about “what about after that”. That has often had me spinning, seriously, so that I get Nothing Done. So–I’ll just do the right thing for now, and if I don’t know what that is right away, wait on God to tell me–but if I do, then do it, and move on–don’t obsess about what’s next. Ahhh, this will help big-time. God bless you–love, sis Caddo
Thanks so much, Heidi. I appreciate your support.
Lori– First, don’t ever feel you have to apologize for speaking up. We will be praying for you and will be interested in knowing how all this works out for you. I’m glad you found part 2 to be of help. Thank you for telling your story. I know others will be adding prayers as they read this. Take care. So sorry all this happened when you’re away from home. We’re here! Keep in touch.
Heidi, I so needed to read this today, thank you. I’m 1,200 miles away from home visiting family, and I woke up yesterday morning with massive tooth pain. I had to get into an emergency dentist visit. Now I have to make a decision whether to have a root canal here (or perhaps the endondist may choose to pull it), or wait 10 days until I get home. I have pain meds, but I need to make that decision. I will do the next right thing. I didn’t mean to tell you my story, but right now I’m a little more than bummed. Thanks so much.