Dear Me,
December 31, 2012
Dear Me,
I probably know less about you than some people and more than the casual observer, but I do know a few things:
- You love to solve problems, to teach, to talk about your experiences
- You miss the ocean, lakes…water that moves, but you have found a great amount of serenity in this arid land you detested
- You hate to lose, but you don’t need to always be right, which is why you enjoy personal growth
- You value learning above almost anything and thus have enjoyed recovery work
- You did not decide on impulse that you needed Al-Anon and resented any suggestion to that end. You can take your fingers out of your ears now.
So, sit yourself right down and listen. You are not going to go back to ‘helping’ people that pull you into their issues. You aren’t. I know this because what I didn’t list above is that you’re a hard-headed Irish-German woman who can shoot a frog on the swim and no way are you going to waste another day solving problems that aren’t yours. No way.
You will do the following, like it or not:
- Starting with Step One, you will work the Al-Anon program, not taking solace in having done the work from the mirror side of AA. Nope.
- This week, come up with a few one-liners that will become your ammo when you need help with that six-shooter mouth of yours. Something like “I need to hang up now, or let me know how it works out.” Drop “I have an idea for you,” from your repertoire.
- Try to find an Al-Anon sponsor, at least a temporary one, so that you’re not even pretending to have all the answers.
- Download Al-Anon speaker tapes from InTheRooms.com and listen to at least two a week.
- Begin journaling this experience. Your emotions may be volleying a bit and no one else needs to get hit.
If I think of something else, I’ll send a second letter. Don’t forget to watch people’s faces. Good feedback for how your program is working that way. Their faces are a mirror of your program.
Happy recovery! Happy New Year!
Cathy– I know you’re progressing at warp speed just now. Thank you for slowing down to read my stuff. Love to have you in my life!
Great analogy! Yup that’s it!! It just is. BUT recovery is awesome. I’m feeling hardly any of the draw. Feels so good. Happy happy
Thanks Heidi.
Debbie thought it has merit. Felt like I’ve covered it but guess not. Thanks for the inspiration!
Funny, because as I was reading your reply to my email I thought, this could be a good post
Like minds and all that.
Cyndi- Gee thanks! …as does your encouragement. Bless you!
Your inspiration seem to always come at the right time . Thank you
Mel– I’m trying for more informal posts. It’s hard. This technique worked, but I can’t make all posts a letter to me so… I will continue to search for a less academic sound on Goodlife. Thanks for the read. I’m happy for you, too.
Debbie– I have no idea how that works, but I’ve had similar experiences when I read Debbie B’s posts! God bless!
Chris– Yes. She did. Check out my response to her and the clarification that should have been with the post to begin with probably! ha. Happy, happy!
Susie–Thanks! Happy New Year to you, also and thanks for stopping by.
Lori– I’m looking forward to the opportunity to change further. Thanks for your funny comment. Glad you get it!
Debby–thanks for your compliments. I may use our correspondence for a post in the future. Probably more than you are shaking their heads wondering ‘What Now?’ More to come!
Nancy– Thanks for the encouragement. I will always be ready to work on whatever comes to light, God willing. I’m blessed to have the opportunity to keep searching His will, aren’t I? Thanks to the AA program I have hope that He will change me… I sure can’t.
Long bath! Love the idea, but I live in an RV and it’s not going to happen anytime soon. My Kindle is well-supplied, however!!
Cathy– How true. I was thinking of that feeling I get, for example, when I’m in the fruit section of the grocery and I get pulled to the Granny Smith’s and never feel a draw to the Delicious apples. They’re both just ‘sittin’ there. I feel the pull. ha. I’m more ‘pulled’ to people’s issues if I already feel a kinship to them. Thanks for putting your light onto my wording. It’s funny because my fist draft said, “pulled into their craziness” ha. That wasn’t very PC.
Judi- You said it. Encourage others to pursue whatever they need to be doing. It means I’m learning acceptance, too. Thanks for this comment.
Love it. I especially love the line, “you can take your fingers out of your ears now”. I’ll get onboard for OPEN-MINDEDNESS for new options and opportunities this year. I think i have a few exciting ideas for folks. Believe it? … well take those fingers out of your ears … or the hands away from your eyes
What a great letter , Heidi! You are just so honest and real . ..I learn more about myself reading letters to yourself. Don’t ask me how that works!
God bless you and your new year!
I think Cathy said it well.
Happy New Year Heidi
God Bless your journey
susie
Haha, I did the al-anon program and I still need to watch that six shooter mouth of mine. Just tonight I had to change the subject with an old friend of mine so as not to shoot it off. Heh. Good luck, Heidi. May you be blessed in this new year.
Interesting. Exposed. Vulnerable. Honest. Direct and directed. Personal growth. You always seem to be about that, Heidi, and it’s admirable as well as a great example. I’m thinking a bit more on this one. Thank you for that.
I give you credit for hanging in there and continuing to work on the various problems and I hope you give yourself credit as well, even if you are a bit. . . stubborn.
Happy New Year! Pat yourself on the back, take a long bath, read a junky novel and love yourself.
Nancy
Having spent much time in Alanon meetings and from personal experience, we Alanoners don’t necessarily get pulled into helping others we just help ourselves or volunteer.
) One of crazies about it. We spot the need a mile away. :- o.
This one shouts loudly to me too! —Drop “I have an idea for you,” from your repertoire.
It’s not to give ideas but to encourage theirs. Thank you for sharing these nuggets Heidi. Wishing you a wonderful New Year!