Cupcakes and Sweet Security
A month into Al-Anon I find out that we are losing our job that we wanted to keep until retirement. My best friend and I are working as security officers and the job we currently have is ending. This was shocking.
It has nothing to do with our job performance and we’ve had so many kudos that we thought we were secure for the 5 years that we will still need to work.
That has nothing to do with reality does it? Secure? What was I basing my security on? Approval, work ethic, job performance, personal relationships, cup cakes…
Yes, cup cakes along with brownies, goober cake and peanut butter cookies. The guys we work for all love to eat! I love to bake. It was a match made in heaven (or at least Texas).
But, they’re stacking our rig in a grave yard for drilling equipment and the roughnecks we’ve worked with for nearly a year will be scattered like chaff across the Texas Eagleford Shale territory.
The oil company who uses our security service will not be needing us, of course. Perhaps this company will find us another assignment, perhaps there won’t be one available for a while … or ever. Our supplier that we sub-contract for will try to find a placement and in the meantime we will be waiting in one of their equipment yards, hopefully. This time of year there are a lot of Winter Texans waiting for an assignment. Some have parked their rigs and are waiting in motels because there’s a shortage of full service hookups in the yards right now. We had money in savings but that was earmarked for taxes… I’m thankful it’s there.
It occurs to me that I’m getting a hands-on experience with Step One, here. I am powerless over people, places and things. Approval does not mean security. Good work ethic, while necessary to my feeling like I am productive, doesn’t mean security. Personal relationships, while satisfactory also doesn’t equal security. I’m slow to see that my only security is in admitting I’m powerless. Yup. Powerless over people, places and things.
The 12 Steps of Codependents Anonymous
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over others – that our lives had become unmanageable.
I’m in the process of trying to find an online sponsor for Al-Anon or CoDa. I would appreciate prayers or suggestions.
AND they certainly knew how to feed you well!! To more adventures!
Hi HH. I’m glad you have somewhere to go. I know that GoodLife isn’t your only support. I hope I continue to be helpful sharing here.
Blessings on your new journey
ps: none of us have “the plan” but we know Who does
Judi– Thank you for your ‘out loud’ prayer, which was so wonderful. Yes. He does open the opportunities, beyond all reason. Just having this job defies expectations. One would think it takes testosterone to drive a dually and hitch up to a fifth wheel, let alone take care of a gate in the oil rig drilling industry… nope. Just takes willingness and a bit of crazy, adventuresome imagination. The doors were opened for us when we surely weren’t looking in this direction and amazingly, it has felt a bit like a calling. Both rigs we’ve followed have felt like family to us. The hardest part is to be losing those roughnecks and their bosses! They’ve been so colorful and so fun.
Anyone wanting to read more about our work, you can see a little bit at theforkintheroad.wordpress.com
Debbie– I know you to be on of our faithful prayer warriors. Thank so much for pulling up a chair and for joining in publicly in your supportive voice. Just today, we had an offer of a place to park in Texas for free. That’s the stop gap we really could use in case we can’t park anyplace locally while we wait, hopefully, for our next assignment. Such is the life of independent contractors. We really love this work, which is difficult to explain. We just do. We’re open to being elsewhere if he shows us that, too. We’ll see. Thanks again for being here, Debbie.
Karla– Good that you asked about our ‘silences’. It’s hard to keep people apprised of our internet situation when it disappears. We’re at a spot here in the road and the field where we’re at the center of a bowl between hills. I tried to tell someone where to find us and explained about our lack of any signal and he said, “OH! I know just where you are. My phone drops calls every time I drive through there.” Yup. That’s where we are.
What we do have for online service is intermittent and unreliable, but we are able to be online from time to time. Right now the signal is strong and before I finish this I could lose all of it, so I better be done with it. Thanks for your comment and know that I was smiling when I saw your name in the comment box! Your saying we’ve come a long way, makes me giggle. You should know. You two were so much help to us when we were floundering. I will always look upon those times with gratitude for God putting both of you in our lives right at that juncture! Thank you. Thank you. I hope life is good for you in your new home. Send me an email if you get the time and tell me about you. Thanks for stopping in to give us your support again!
Jeff– While we are losing our job here, we may be reassigned elsewhere, of course. The timing may be tricky and last year we were down to the last bit we could afford, without having to borrow money to pay taxes. I really reacted to the news from remembering that and knowing that this year I had ‘planned for it’, ha. I was planning, and I need to remember I can take action but I can’t take control over the outcome. That’s where my alcoholic mind starts to rebel, isn’t it? Somehow, this is all going to work out and I want so much to not hold onto my own plan, but give Him all of it. His grace is sufficient for that, and I know it… I do. Talking to myself here, and appreciate your listening in. Thanks for being here and the prayers are felt, truly, they are.
Susie– Thank you so much for sharing your story. I love the visual. Yup. In the middle of the road! I am blessed beyond belief to be living this life after I tried to throw it all away just a few years ago. Every day is a blessing and when I forget that, I’m a little insane again. For the most part, I could feel connected to Him through it and the fear was immeasurably small compared to just a year ago. Even that makes me realize how He works with this package I present to Him. I’m changing, gratefully. I don’t have to know ‘the plan’ do I? Thank you for the prayers, which we really want and appreciate more than I can explain. We share a journey and He does know the details. What a wonderful reminder. Thank you for joining the circle today!
Sherrie– I know. You’re so right, as usual. Things are a changin’ and not in bad ways, but good ones. Thanks for sitting in with us. I love seeing you here!
Mel– I am sure that many of the GoodLife Group will be praying for wisdom for you as you face these situations, as we all do. As you say, these are typical life-thingys. I didn’t react like I did a year ago when this happened and for that I’m so grateful. I know He’s working on me and there are some reactions that are a bit smoother than last time, so yippee!
Thanks so much for sharing here and for your support. We do have one-another’s backs! This is a good support group, truly.
Powerless over people, places and things. Yup.
We have an option for a place to park and hook up in another part of Texas from some friends in the business who aren’t going to be using their place for a while, so that was a huge relief. Our preference is to find work soon and wait in the service yard hooked up for free and under their noses, but… we do have the option of going elsewhere now. That’s just so encouraging.
A lot goes on outside the actual comment section as far as mutual support is concerned. I tell people this is a supportive group and if they are only seeing the public side, they may think I’m delusional… well… at times… but, that’s another issue entirely. This is a wonderfully connected bunch at GoodLife and I have very little to do with the awesome way He works here.
Thank you all for being involved.
Lori– I prayed for you when I read this and will remember you in our parallel experiences. We are blessed beyond compare and I am aware of that. I don’t know how people get by without faith and I don’t want to find out. He’s always provided what I need, not what I want and for that I’m usually grateful. Just focusing on His will for this day helps me a lot. Thank you for sharing your struggles here, as well. We have some faithful prayer warriors. I trust we’ll continue to support one another. Keep your chair warm here, ok?
Debby– Thank you very much for being here and for the encouraging email prayer that you sent to me today. Surrendering is the beginning of good things. I’ve found that to be true in my life, as well. That must be so sweet to frequently be witness to His work. We’re kind of insulated here and I don’t get to go to face to face meetings, but I know what you’re talking about from my own experience.
Prayers for your next assignment and for that online mentor. That step is where my control freak person started to melt.
Thank you Father for such wonderful things that have happened for Heidi and Debbie in this position. We know that you are the giver of good things so we pray for open doors, open pads and the great opportunities You have in store to be seen! Love you ladies
I had just been thinking of you two and praying. But I didn’t expect this. love and hugs, Heidi. I am trusting that He has you covered and is in control. Praying that He lets you in on the next step soon!
I’m sorry to hear about the job situation. I wondered if that had anything to do with the silences over the Internet. What I am glad is that you have done a lot of work, not the secret security kind, but the kind you have done with The Good Life, AA, Al-Anon and your prayer life. You have come a long way and I have faith that you will make a way out of this wilderness, all with God’s help.
I’m so sorry to hear that y’all are losing your job! That’s terrible. You can bet that you’ll be in my prayers.
I know the pain! Two years ago I received a “GLOWING” annual review and then the shoe dropped at the end – We love your work but we will have to let you go within the next 3 months!
Truthfully as my Boss was giving me the “axe” I was picturing Jim Carrey in the movie Bruce Almighty. He is standing in the middle of the road in pouring rain and says” “SMITE ME LORD – SMITE ME!
But God has his beautiful plan for my life and now (after the two years) I can see His plans and know His Hand
I will keep you and Debbie in my prayers
ps: God knows the details of your journey – the details are already laid out – Faith, my friend
I am blown away……the timeliness of your step to a new layer in your recovery right before facing the loss of the job you enjoy. Wow, as my sponsor’s sponsor would say, “HP plans ahead!” Please know I am with you both whatever I can do I’m in. Big hugs, Sherrie
This is a good lesson Heidi. I am sorry for you troubles: These life-thingies make a body shaky. There is great strength in admitting that you TRULY believe (or in your case) are UP-FRONT and personally reminded, that we are all powerless over people, places and things. Absolutely. My employer had a year of threatening me twice re: my job, and I had to let that go (not after crying on several peoples’ shoulders) and in the end, two weeks ago, I was handed a bonus check. Does that make me secure: NO, it means i REALLY REALLY REALLY don’t have ANY control over people, places or things. I can do what i need to do, (update skills, look for other opportnities) and act in my own best interest, but the rest is out of my control.
Same with my relationship over Christmas. I was ready to walk away. I asked Don if he would help me move my things out. I have no control over his family; how often they visit, how long they stay; how rude they are and how he acts and accepts their “bad behavior”. He may never get my “complaints” or attempts at explaining my “side” of things, but I have to look at myself and do what i think is best with the information available (and the reactions from Don). I’ve learned that an all-out crying jag goes a lot further than (I think Debbie said it, “whining)
.
We have worked things out, and continue to work on our relationship. I know more each time I come up against family issues, and have created new ways to escape. Not without cost of course. Cabs aren’t cheap
and in the burbs, malls are far and wide. There’s always MICHAELS!! I could stay there a day.
So, what am i saying?
(a) You’ll find another job. You will take the steps, and let God take care of the rest. God doesn’t do everything, but he will always stand behind you.
(b) I got yer back too.
(c) Thanks for sharing this.
Wow, Heidi, as of yesterday, my husband and I are dealing with the same thing. He lost his job just yesterday. So many of the things you brought up about job security, are many of the things I believed about my husband’s job too. After hearing the news, I felt I needed to have some kind of light at the end of the tunnel to help me move forward. Then, a couple of things happened out of nowhere that helped me to see that light in the distance. Now, for me, it’s about having faith. Thank you for sharing this, and may many blessings be coming your way.
We had a good discussion last night in our big group meeting on powerless. Some great things were shared, including one who said when he finally admitted he was powerless is when he found power in another. He found power in his God who gives the power to remain clean and sober. Such a gift to hear others tell of the gain in surrender.