The 12 Step Workout: Use It or Lose It
“While you’re in the meeting, your addiction is out in the parking lot doing push ups.”
Of course, it’s also doing calisthenics when I’m sleeping, eating, talking — no matter how I’m passing my time, it’s getting more powerful, getting ready for the next relapse. One glass, one dose, one relationship can activate the whole slew of problems again and studies show that addiction returns with additional power after a time of disuse.
So, I can’t afford to stop working out. The way I build my program muscles is to ‘work the program’. Improve it or lose it. Because we never really stand still in spiritual growth. That means I must continue to grow spiritually by using the 12 Steps in my daily life. Otherwise, I may yield to my old insanity and lose my freedom, my good life.
Usually there is a triggering event that tips us over the edge into active addiction. The insanity of addiction is what happens in the days previous to the moments where we decide to engage in our addictive behavior. We gradually inch closer to the edge of disaster and just tip over into the abyss. We tip from sane behavior (being an inactive addict in recovery) to the free-fall of an active addict in relapse.
In those tipping moments, we believe that we can find a rush of fulfillment, a sense of satisfaction that we remember from our first days of gratification. If that belief is followed by indulgence, then the indulgence immediately triggers obsession. Once obsessed, it’s nearly impossible to stop the free-fall into wreckage.
Just think of anyone you know that goes from bad relationship to bad relationship. In the succession of wrong partners, each investment can become more damaging, more entangled and harder to recover from. The stakes get higher, the losses worse and the recovery more uncertain because of the entrenched life pattern.
The same principle is true for any obsession whether it be food, a substance, a co-dependent relationship, sex or any other behavior that has you by the throat, or… any other part of your body or mind.
I work my program so that I don’t relapse into my obsession (alcohol) and lose all the gifts that I’ve experienced as a result of the 12 Steps. I want my addiction to stay idle. I don’t want to free-fall into insanity ever again. The thought scares me. But I don’t need to fear because I am staying the course, doing the training daily, giving away what I’ve found and trusting in my God to stay close, keep me sane.
PS: This is what those of us in the 12 Step programs believe:
We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous and free. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, 2012 p 133
Nancy– Of course, not. Just link to me. We’re good. I just love Heidi links!
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Do you mind if I quote you from this post? I’ll give full credit (of course).
Nancy– You make me smile. I don’t know what I said that helped you for sure, but I’m glad it makes sense to someone! Tomorrow I may lose a few… I’m going to really be myself. Never was in this for the votes, that’s for sure! And that book sounds fantastic. While my alcoholism and obsessions and fear are not unique, I am. He made no one else like either of us, Nancy! Let’s celebrate that! Go, girl!
I’ve been reading a book by Holly Gerth called “You’re Already Amazing” and it’s about how as Christians we don’t relax into God’s love and the expectations he has for us versus everyone else’s expectations.
After I wrote this, I read the section on slip-ups versus setbacks and what you wrote made a lot more sense to me. I’m at lunch right now, but will either redo my comment to you or else do my own post to link into your comments.
As always, you drag out into the light of day some ugly topics that need addressing. This was another excellent post. I’m glad you don’t shy away from them.
Debbie– I need constant reminders. I have a really good forgetter. Bless you, too. He does the real work, you know.
Nancy– It’s not mine. I hear that a lot around the tables. We have to keep real about what will happen. Not only does the body have less resistance to substances as we age, but it still has the previous effects from the former abuse, so is not as capable of removing the poisons. I used to think I was just getting better at ‘processing’ the wine, but in reality it was taking a greater toll while not delivering the effects I was looking for. It was getting increasingly more deadly. Hard to wrap my mind around all of it. All I know is that I have to stay away! Thank you for being here again.
Sherrie– Oh, good. You agree. Kinda thought so.
Lori– Thanks again for being here.
Cyndi– I hope you and your group are progressing well! Thanks for the kudos.
Thank you, dear Heidi, for encouraging us to keep strong, to keep working out our faith .. .because the addiction is also working hard too. God bless you and keep you strong!
I love your quote that while you’re in the meeting, your addiction is in the parking lot doing push-ups. I’m glad you’re doing what you need to keep your obsessions under control. I wish it was easier for you, but am glad you’re staying the course.
Nancy
So true, so very true!!!
I’m clicking “like” for this blog post. Well done.
Awesome!!!!