NIP IT!
She said, “Heidi, I don’t know why anyone calls you when they’re having problems.”
This made me smile. Me neither. I’m not a coddling, make-ya-feel warm-n-fuzzy kind of gal! Straight talkin’ and firin’ from the hip, is my style
Really, I’ve no idea why people who want to whine ever talk to me. I’m fighting my own impulsive self-indulgence, self-pity and self-obsessing all the time! It’s a constant, daily tug of war. On one end of the rope is Self, just pulling for all she’s worth. On the other end is the 12 Steps and my God’s grace trying to pull me back into balance.
I can practice what the Steps teach me or I can fall on my britches and just let Self pull me into that abyss again. Which is it?
The 12 Steps or the Self? I can apply some action now using the Step that applies to my current struggles or I can live in the Self and whine and moan and fall over the cliff dangling there… in an emotional hangover… I can live in that ugly, negative space where I criticize, worry, become obsessively fearful and complaining… or not.
I’d rather dive backwards and grab a hold of my program with both fists and hang on tight until God’s grace rescues me once more and I have gratitude for the fact that I’m still alive. Because by all rights the way I was living… I shouldn’t be….(and I have the guts to be complainin’ about stuff?)
I can keep falling down and lie there in abject falsehood and the mucky neighborhood of lies or I can just get up and hang onto the truth. Gonna shoot for the truth every time, be a straight-shooter for me ‘n for you. I will not cotton to any more whinin’!
Barney Fife was right.
Barney’s one of my favorite philosophers.
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Sherrie– I like what you said about not holding onto emotions and letting them keep us from living our lives. Thank you for the comment and the kudos. Blessings, Sherrie!
As far as whining goes, I am a great believer in the Doctor Huxtable method, wear sad clothes, listen to sad music, but put a time limit on it. Grief, whining, sadness all have their place and their time, it’s only when they over stay their welcome or I try to hold on to them to keep from living my life that I see them as problematic. Just my opinion….I do love your writing and your insight! Thanks for sharing!!
Thanks! I’m glad it has worked out for you. As long as I remain teachable and listen, I feel that I will continue to grow as I try to help/love others.
Yes, the people that come to you (or me) come to us because they want to. In my experience I found that telling the truth (straight shooting), has on occasion not gone over well. As much as I love them (and visa versa), some of those who have come to me weren’t quite ready for the truth, whether they thought they were or not. I’ve had some get angry with me, as a result, placing blame on me. I’m just sharing how some of my experiences went for me. It’s part of the disease, at least in my family circle. Of course, I understand that your experiences are different, and I do see the love you have for them from your writing.
Debby– Thanks!
Debbie- If you like Barney, just go to Youtube and find all kinds of opportunities to laugh! I wrote that post in a very few minutes but I spent a very long time laughing at Barney!
Lori– Thank you for being here. I never thought about being just the ‘right person to blame’. I really love the people that come to me and I believe that for whatever reason, they come to me because they want to. That’s good enough a reason for me.
I’m so glad you are you, Heidi! And thank you for the wise words of Barnie . ..nip it in the bud! Take care and God bless!
Same here. Must be something to it.
You don’t have to apologize for being yourself, at least not on my account. Plus, I’m not into all that PC stuff anyway. I’ve never been one to mince words myself. I once had a counselor tell me, that whiners and complainers came to me because subconsciously they knew they needed to hear the truth. Perhaps the counselor was right, or perhaps the complainer just needed someone else to blame for being mean to them. I often turned out to be the latter.
Keep up the good work, Heidi.