I no longer feel I have to ‘prove’ anything to you or to me
Who’s in the drivers’ seat?
December 31, 2012 Dear Me, I probably know less about you than some people and more than the casual observer, but I do know a few things: You love to solve problems, to… Read More
Glancing down the hall towards the Al-Anon room…
Thinking, learning, figuring things out with my pea brain…
Even ‘normies’ suffer from it.
I grew up in the 50s–a time when sex education had not yet been invented.
There’s a lot of ‘holding’ going on during the last three points.
Can you find something that weighs on your mind?
My life would make a better movie than it does a life.
Possibly behind the presenting question is the thought: “You’re not one of us, are you?” I’m not sure why we react to ‘foreigners’ this way, but it’s human nature to try to align the ‘us’ from the ‘them’. We separate out the locals from the others like sorting through the box of puzzle pieces for the border.
I spent a lot of time with my grandparents absorbing survival skills: some good, some bad.
Putting out of our minds the wrongs other had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes.
Ya but… (wheeze) the other guy is the problem! You’re just the victim, here.
I’m a Fighter from a long line of Fighters. I don’t know what happens to you when you’re angry…
Now that we have the first column naming people, institutions and principles we can move on to the second column. Refer to the Not Scary Resentments Worksheet of Step 4 in the side… Read More
Do you have an inexplicable feeling of pending doom? Do you feel deep down lonely…
Everything was dirty, broken, piled up and rusty. I kept gagging…
as soon as you’re ripe, you rot! There’s a lot of ripe ones out there…
I have the clearest memory of childhood discussions and a collection of bunkhouse adventures with God. This skinless friend was more real …
I don’t understand the intricate workings of denial, but I’m at the same time, well-acquainted with it.
Looking closely at this arch in Glendalough, Ireland, you can see there is no mortar. As an active alcoholic, my life was crumbling just like this keystone.
What keeps you awake at night?
Step 3 is not the action of turning our will and lives over, it’s deciding to do so. Let’s get specific. Which decision making elements do you usually use?
There is something in me that rebels against familiar authoritarianism. Do I really want someone else to tell me what to think again? I hope not.
During early sobriety it seemed that all the characters around the table except me had a secret password that allowed them to log into a new life of peace and serenity. I’d never seen anything like these hooligans.
Do I miss drinking? Sometimes. I miss it to the extent that I’m still insane. I was not created for self-destruction but alcohol is a one way ticket to that insanity. It waits.
The question I should have asked when I dropped into AA was, Is there a difference between step 3 and salvation for a Christian?
This is my prayer corner. The colored pencils are from Iowa. I bought them at an art supply store when I started coloring during prayer. Bear with me. I can explain…maybe.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. That’s Step 4, perhaps the scariest few words Bill W strung together in this 12 Step program. It seems to me that he could… Read More
It was Spring. We were on a photo shoot, driving along a wondrous coastal road between the woods on our left and the Pacific on our right when these beautiful words fairly begged… Read More
My DVD player quit– less than 6 months old and doesn’t work. It’s a reputable brand and played great for a while. Then a few problems came up, but it didn’t seem remarkable.… Read More
I agree with Chaz and his Unconflicted post. I am unconcerned about Bill’s personal life. He was a tool for getting the Biblical principles into our hands. I was not saved by him,… Read More
In February I had thousands of dollars of unanticipated expenses: repairs to my RV and gutting the bathroom in my rental house. I charged motel bills while I waited for my RV repairs,… Read More
Before I ever heard of a Step 3, I reveled in directing the school play rehearsals. There was a sense of satisfaction in seeing my creative ideas take on life and play out… Read More
In Step 3: Part 4 I asked how you would define ‘will’ and ‘lives’ in the wording of Step 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the… Read More
Are you ready for Step 3? It’s easy to find out. Assuming that we believe that we are alcoholic and can’t manage our own lives, we’re through with Step 1. Furthermore, if we’ve… Read More
What Bill Wilson originally penned and what ended up coming off the presses as the text-book for AA does differ, slightly. Sometimes editing changes are insignificant; sometimes they change the tone and blur… Read More
I was just staring at the slow green circle that is the icon for my internet connectivity. In letters beside it, just in case I don’t know, it says connecting. All right already…so… Read More
My life until I got sober was anything but peaceful. I lived on a steady diet of drama… well- executed and self-induced emotional trauma. But I wasn’t alone in my exciting life. I… Read More
You call it love. For years, all I wrote was bad, tragic and tearful poetry. Then life got better because I got sober and I gave up poetry. Suddenly, this poem gushed forth… Read More
The truth will set you free, to the extent that you recognize it and cooperate with it.
I remember the high school field trip to the Butler County Courthouse because I nearly fainted climbing the steps! I had just been to the doctor and he had taken a vial of… Read More
When someone is willing to dig deep for the reality of their lives and keep molding the truths onto steps that lead from addiction and pain to sane living and rejoicing, it’s called… Read More
Discerning reality is no easy task for addicts. Here’s a hint: Listen with your eyes. It works. When a person or activity is pulling me back into romancing of the past, I visualize… Read More
The following comment from Resentment Rats is too wonderful to leave in the archives of comments: So much lays beneath what we can easily see in ourselves. And how many people in life… Read More
One of the great joys of having a job that keeps me at home is the freedom to read. I used to see people in ‘low level’ jobs reading a book between tasks… Read More
The above picture is from a recent trip to Scotland. The gate makes me think of how my old thinking has kept me imprisoned. I took this picture during a tour of the… Read More
I had an epiphany yesterday. I’ve recently bought a new fifth wheel and requisite dually. Along with that comes more room to live and more financial pressure. (Did you catch that, the pressure?)… Read More